It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
When I made the decision to leave (~13 year abusive relationship), the biggest challenge I had in front of me was building up the finances to support myself independently. At the time, I had no documented identification aside from my paychecks and my annual income taxes, and no means of transportation.
These are the steps I took and some tips I learned for different financial situations that helped me and others escape from an abusive relationship. In total it took me six months to accumulate just over $10,000 to fund my freedom. To be honest, we had originally planned that it would take 12-18 months.
The first step to financial freedom is to establish a bank account that is not related to your home address, email, or phone number. If you don’t have an alternate address or phone, open a PO Box, and pick up a trac-phone. There are a wide variety of exclusively online checking account services available. I used a banking service called “Simple”. Do make sure whatever banking service you use will be free of maintenance fees (without a minimum recurring direct deposit).
If you have a steady income, change your contributions with your HR department.
number of dependents claimed
insurance contributions
401K contributions
pre-tax deductions for Dependent Care and Health Savings
The key is to keep the direct deposit that is going into the shared account the same as it always has been. The sum of the changes becomes a secret direct deposit that goes into the secret account you opened in step one.
If you do not have a steady income, but you do all the clothing, grocery, and household shopping, every time you use the debit card at the register ask for $5 or $10 in cash back. Less to be safer, more if you’re able. Deposit this into the secret bank account. The key here is that it doesn’t show up on a bank statement as a withdrawal, but as part of a point of sale purchase.
File your income tax return. If you file jointly this may not be an option for you. If you file separately, you can divert all or a portion of that income tax refund into your secret bank account.
Establish a 401K – this is the most critical step I took for my financial freedom. If you have a 401K it likely gives you the option to borrow against it, and often that amount can be up to $10,000. If you do not have a 401K, establish one. Set a contribution, and share this information with your abuser if it feels safe. (In my situation, it was sometimes better to present some information and avoid surprises, do what is safest for your situation) Then revoke or reduce the contribution and add this amount to the secret direct deposit being made by other changes to your payroll deductions.
To sustain your financial stability after freedom, budget, budget, budget! Create a spreadsheet with all your anticipated expenses after you leave, and your anticipated income. Always round your income down and your expenses up, and you will never overdraft. Keep it to yourself, don’t share your financial information with anyone.