Introduction

In this session we are discussing financial freedom.  With any abusive situation, your safety is the highest priority.  If you have not already done so, please create a “Go-bag”, and a Safety Plan in the event your plan to escape is discovered.  Statistically speaking, the highest rate of homicide happens within the first fourteen days of a victim leaving their abuser.  Before you begin taking steps towards financial freedom, you must have a Safety Plan in place.  If you do not have a safety plan in place please contact your local center for domestic abuse for assistance in safety planning.

Before we dive into the details of attaining financial independence, let’s define Financial Abuse.  Financial abuse can present in several ways.  Often times “preventing employment” looks like an offer to be a stay at home parent or partner.  An abuser may make it difficult or impossible to retain a job, restricting access to transportation, or child care.  Sometimes an abuser will show up at their victims place of employment to ‘watch’ them or harass them.

Restriction of access to money or bank accounts is a very common financial abuse tactic.  In my personal experience, my abuser convinced me that I was financially illiterate and convinced me it was best if he held onto my debit card. 

An abuser may maintain ownership of assets and expenses.  Not only does this prevent you from having any financial security but it prevents financial growth.  An abuser may prevent you from placing a utility bill, a lease, a line of credit, or a mortgage in your name, ultimately restricting your ability to leave.

Likewise, many abusers will place everything in their victims name while withholding access to funds, causing the victim to be in severe debt.  

Addressing Financial Abuse is a critical topic for escaping an abusive relationship.  So how do we reverse financial abuse?  Let’s dive in!

Establish a Bank Account

The first step to financial freedom is establishing a bank account.  This step should be taken if you have a joint bank account, an account that the abuser already accesses, or if you do not have a bank account.

 You will need at minimum, a government issued photo ID and your social security number.  Some banks may require additional proof of identity before opening an account. 

You will have to provide a mailing address and phone number to associate with your bank account.  Do not provide your current address and phone number.  If you do not have a trusted friend or family member that can provide their address and phone number, open a PO Box, and buy a TracPhone.  Sometimes you can use an employer address, but you should discuss this with your employer in advance.

In the event you are unable to establish a bank account, another option is a reloadable Visa card. These can be found at any drug store or supermarket.  When you register the card, the user portal should provide you with the appropriate routing number and account number to allow for money to be directly deposited on your reloadable card.  

Once you establish your secret bank account, do not tell anyone aside from the trusted friend or family member who is supporting your escape and safety plan.

Payroll Deductions

If you are gainfully employed, these tips can help you funnel money into your secret bank account to aid in your escape plan. The key to extorting money from your own paycheck is to keep the direct deposit amount about the same.  In any of the following situations, you will want to submit a new direct deposit form to your employer.  Instead of allowing 100% of your paycheck to be deposited into one account, calculate the changes to your payroll and specify the exact dollar amount you want deposited into your joint or shared account.  When making these changes, use your best judgement of how much to reduce or change your deductions.  You know your abuser better than anyone else.

Review your pay stub, and notice the deductions that are being taken out of your paycheck. Notice the dollar amount that is deposited.  For full time employees, the dollar amount deposited may not change from one pay period to the next, but if you work in retail or food service, you may have fluctuating payroll deposits.  In the event you have fluctuations in your payroll, it will be better to specify the exact dollar amount you want deposited into your secret bank account while letting the regular payroll fluctuate as it naturally would.

If you currently contribute to an HSA or FSA, reduce the contribution and add the balance to your secret account.

If you contribute to your 401k, reduce the contribution and add the balance to your secret account.

In some situations you may want to get creative.  Create a memo that says your office is going to start a “Dress Down” program, you can sign up to contribute $5/ week to dress down on Fridays.  Put a signature line on it to acknowledge that it will be directly deducted from your paycheck.  Put that $5 per week into your secret account.

If you are paying for insurance that is secondary, cancel the insurance and deposit the “premium” into your secret account.

If you currently claim “zero” dependents, request to modify your W-4 with your employer.  Increase your claimed dependents to the maximum amount allowable for you.  A single person with no children can claim “One” dependent.  This will reduce the amount of federal taxes withheld by your employer.  Again, take the balance and add it to your secret account.

401K and Investments

If you have access to investments, like a 401k or a trust fund, there may be benefits that can assist you in escaping abuse.  In some cases this may require reconnecting with family members regarding a trust.  Speak with your safety planning advocate about the best way to approach this.  You may find that estranged family and friends are more likely to assist when they understand that the secret bank account exists.  In my experience, I provided all the details for my estranged family member to pay a fine for me in person to aid in my escape.  

You may have the ability to borrow against or withdraw from your Retirement account to fund your escape.  Using a safe device, you can access your retirement account on a browser and follow the steps to review the options available to you.  Before you make the decision to borrow or withdraw, you must change the mailing  address and phone number associated with the account.  This step is critical to preventing a potentially dangerous situation, should the abuser discover the transaction.  When you make a decision, direct deposit the funds into your secret bank account.

Financial Freedom After Escape

Often after a survivor finds freedom from abuse, they are left to rebuild their finances alone.  

In the final 30 days before escape or the first days after escape, contact your credit card companies, lenders (auto loans), and retail credit card companies, and inquire about their policies regarding Domestic Violence.  Some creditors have programs in place to provide debt relief when a customer experiences Domestic Violence.  Additionally you must update the mailing address if you have not already done so, and phone numbers.  Remove the abuser as an authorized user, and cancel any duplicate or additionally issued cards.  In some cases it may be safest to simply order new cards.

Budgeting is going to be key in sustaining your financial stability.  You may find it comes exponentially easier with a simple spreadsheet, and no abuser controlling and spending all the household income.  Still, it is expensive, and can be tricky to navigate with children or dependents.  Create your budget, stick to it, and adjust it as you grow your financial independence.

If you didn’t have access to retirement or savings products prior to escape, inquire with your bank or employer about what retirement savings plans are available to you.  Many employers will match contributions to retirement funds, and this will not only provide you with long term security, but it provides the option to borrow against or withdraw from in the future should you face an unexpected expense.

As always, plan for safety first.